is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
