I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
