You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
