on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
They took my balls.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
