i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
