just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
