That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
