its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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