The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
