shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
