also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
