Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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