Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize