He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
worst night to have a conscience
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
