She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
