Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
