At least make sure they are 18
Why
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
