that's an acceptable place to lick
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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