We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
