Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
