Sponge bath it is.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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