Those balls look pretty dangerous.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
