he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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