the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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