We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
