i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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