Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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