i don't like sucking hair
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
