I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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