Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
