I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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