how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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