3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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