i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
