Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
