Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
