He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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