This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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