I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
