i permit you to call me
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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