dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
