i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
