Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
