I wish I could punch you in the face.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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