He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
