found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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