you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Your cock deserves a montage
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
