There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Four minutes until I can fart!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
