Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Less talking, more tequila
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
