We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
bring money and cleavage
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
