I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
