It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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