The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
