I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
