I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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