Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
