College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
So many bounce houses so little time
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
