I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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