At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
