put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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