i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
