Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
