We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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