bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize