real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
