And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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