Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
as a side note pls kill me
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
