Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
