I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
