dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
